Parenting doesn't always come with a guidebook.

Somehow, we figure it out.

A personal blog about foster care, parenting, the messy bits in between, and finding the brighter days along the way.

Real Life

Honest stories, the ups, the downs, and everything in between.

Practical Support

Tips, tools and ideas that actually work in the real world.

Brighter Tomorrows

Because every child deserves the right to thrive.

Latest from my blog

Their family doesn’t get replaced, it grows

Sometimes it can be hard to remember that our foster kids come from a different family. Not because we don’t know it, of course we do. But when you’re there with them every day — sitting at the dinner table, helping with homework, watching TV, being silly, arguing about bedtime,...

Being a yes man felt good, at first

“Can I have this?”. Sure! “Can we go here?”. Let’s go. “Can I have 15 more minutes on the iPad?”. Well, we agreed those limits together, but yes go on an extra 15 minutes won’t harm. Being a yes man, intially felt great. My foster son had walked into my...

When priorities collide

Through all my training — which, to be honest, wasn’t as much as I thought it would be — and dealing with a variety of social workers, case workers and “the system” over the past year, I’m starting to question whether the things I assumed would be the number one...

Don’t get too attached

I can remember my social worker sitting in my living room, about two months into caring for my foster son, saying the words: “Don’t get too attached, he will go soon.” Okay, cool. This child who has already suffered trauma, moved a bunch of times and is finally settling in...

Deciding to become a foster carer

It wasn’t a lightning-bolt moment. It was more of a slow realisation that maybe I’d been heading in this direction for a while without even knowing it. “What made you decide to become a foster carer?” It’s a question I’ve been asked quite a few times, and I never really...

Who am I?

That is a big question, who am I? I'm a bloke from New Zealand who's been thrust into the throes of parenting, learning how to be a Dad, learning how to raise a son, learning how to be a good man. I am a foster carer with Oranga Tamariki.

I'm a single man with no biological children. Not exactly "fitting the mould" of what you'd expect a foster carer to be. But caregivers come from all walks of life, shapes, sizes and configurations.

I always wanted to be a Dad, and to be honest thought my life would look differently by my mid 30s. I decided to stop waiting for "the right time", took the bull by the horns and went through the process to become an approved caregiver. My heart had a lot to give, and these vulnerable children don't wait for "the right time".

This is my personal blog about my journey. I don't know if anyone will even find it, and whether they do or not I'll continue writing.

Somehow, Dad.